Saturday, Dec 23rd 2006

Kelly's 2006 Christmas Story


Greetings.  Kelly here.  The custodial primates known as "Mother" and "Father" are too busy to compose a missive about the past years highlights so the task falls to me: The Offspring (I feign illiteracy; if only they knew).  So here goes...

In the first month of the Two Thousandth and Sixth year of Our Lord we begin.  (Or as I like to call it: year 3 since I escaped the womb tomb and entered the atmosphere.  Only that which occurs after my birth is significant; everything prior is simply commentary.)  The winter months are always cold and dreadful; cold and dreadful, but economically beneficent.  In February, Mother left her job of many years, for a new venture as an IT Project Manager at a firm known as Sterling Testing Systems.  Regrettably, my initial excitement over unfettered fondling of silver ingots was premature.  The company specializes in pre-employment background checks; nothing involving precious metals.  Father is still toiling for his Swiss taskmasters at UBS as a programmer in the Mortgage Research area.

March and my first birthday party!  Or at least my first party with my friends and cousins and Miss Kimmy (my music teacher at day care) and everybody.  Oh it was keen and a fun time was had by all.  My take in loot was quite substantial, but space does not permit a full enumeration.  Suffice it to say, I was quite pleased.  And I'm finally three!

This summer was my best ever; the ne plus ultra of summers.  Mother and Father spent almost every weekend climbing so I got to play with my buddy Tyler and my gal pal Ella.  Among my favorite activities were trips to the park with Mother, the pool with Mother and Father and hiking with Father in the Mohonk Preserve (he hiked; I sat in the running buggy).  Over the July 4th weekend we ventured to the New England town of North Conway, New Hampshire with our friends Lynn, Theresa, Tyler, Susan and Wilson.  Rock climbing for the grups; pool time, play time and general frolicking for the wee people.  Tyler and I had a grand time, but the heat, rain and car issues put a bit of a damper on the trip for Mother and Father.  The Check Engine light was aglow and the car wheezed like Orson Welles on a hot July day in The Big Easy.  Father kept muttering something about the light glaring like the Eye of Sauron (Note To Self: must investigate this Mr. Sauron's eyes).

Later in the year, the Parental Units traveled again to New Hampshire, this time to Rumney for more rock climbing.  Initially I was filled with glee when I was told I would not accompany them.  Home alone in New York City.  I would Party Like A Rock Star!  Oh my yes!  My joy was short lived, however, as Grandma and Grandpa were assigned tutelary duties.  "Ask for anything you want", said Mother as she departed, “ice cream, strawberry milk, anything; they'll give it to you".  I smiled; I knew.  I was ruler of this world for the next 4 days.  These slow, elderly people would be my slaves, my minions.  They would do my bidding.  Ah yes, four days with the grandparents; heaven on Earth.

This fall my supreme intellectual capability was recognized and I have moved on to pre-school at day care.  I'm learning the alphabet (again, ignorance is feigned so as not to upset the other students), French and Yoga; useful skills for a 3 year old.  I began formal swim instruction over the summer and continued apace through the latter half of this year.  My physical prowess and great strength have enabled me to progress; I will move to the next level in the upcoming year and will swim unaided by floatation device or assistance of any kind.

That's it for the year.  I await the oblations of the crimson cloaked corpulent one and expect quite a take this year.  I seldom cry, I seldom pout, I’m certainly not naughty and am always nice.  Yes sir, the Big Man is coming to town.  Next year: more swimming, skiing, perhaps gymnastics and more fun with my friends.

Merry Christmas.

Kelly (and Mommy and Daddy too)